I am always waiting for something. When I was a child I was waiting for specific birthdays. For some reason I thought that something very important is going to happen to me when I will be 19, 30 and 45 years old. I was right so far: I got married when I was 19, my son was born when I turned 30, and I can’t wait for my next birthday to learn what life has in store for me at 45.
I was waiting for my kids to stop getting sick all the time, for my lucky stars to tell me what to do in terms of my career, for my parents to move closer to me, and most of all, for peace in my soul. I am longing to be content with my life, but some unconscious black spot is always present in the back of my mind. I feel that I lost my way somehow and not sure where to go from where I am.
I keep thinking that I am on the cusp of some defining event right now. Everything that is happening around me is telling me that I am waiting for something. I don’t know what it is. I just hope it’s worth the wait.